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Tue, Jan. 2nd, 2007, 12:11 am
HE WHO CONTROLS THE CHORDS AND/OR MODEL GLUE, CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE



Gentlemen, the writer for the infamous kitpooka known only as "Trixie" has discovered Guitar Hero. This could potentially be very bad for productivity and may spell the end of whatever it is Trixie does. We think she's either some sort of spy for a nation that doesn't exist and never has, an escaped mental patient, or a really shitty mime that can turn into a [fingerquotes] cute and cuddly woodland creature.

Our expert on lost productivity, Doctor David Hasselhoff:



WELL AS YOU CAN SEE IN THIS VIDEO FOOTAGE, GUITAR HERO HAS MORE OR LESS TAKEN OVER THE WRITER'S LIFE, AND HAS ENGAGED THE MUSE COMPLETELY COMPLETELY. WITNESS THIS RARE EXCHANGE BETWEEN TWO COGNIZANT BEINGS COEXISTING WITHIN THE SAME CONSCIOUSNESS:

[writer] my arms are le tired

[Trixie] MOAR! Must! Get! perfect rating on "Spanish Castle Magic!" FINGERS FUSING INTO LOBSTER-BOY-LIKE FLIPPERS! RAAAAAAAHHHHRRR I AM A GOLDEN GOD



If Guitar Hero continues to take up such a prominent position in the life of the writer, we can expect further drop-offs in productivity to occur until the writer and the muse engage in psychological fusion, the likes of which would cause their personalities to meld into a single entity; thus creating a person whose only goal in life is to continue playing the game incessantly, ignoring all biological needs until their body gives out completely.



Tell me why we care, again. I don't see this as a bad thing.



It might not be. But God help us all if they ever locate a copy of Guitar Hero II.

Tue, Jan. 2nd, 2007 07:03 am (UTC)
h_hollister

Yup. You're doomed.

...IcangetfivestarsonNoOneKnowsonExpertkoffkoff